We Want To Be Our Moms
When I was little, I always dreamed of being a housewife. I remember looking at my mom and adoring her, thinking that one day I want to be just like her. I remember how she was always there for me and my siblings when we were growing up, every milestone, every moment, good and bad. I remember how she taught us quran everyday, helped us with our homework, read us stories of the sahabahs before bedtime, cooked us all sorts of delicious meals and treats, brought us to the park and played with us, and basically took care of our everyday needs. I remember thinking to myself, this is exactly the kind of mom I want to be when I grow up (an educated, fun mom & housewife).
My mom graduated with a degree in microbiology from Brock University, Canada. She got married while she was still studying and had her first baby at 22(sometime after her convocation). She didn't enter the workforce but she did all sorts of side businesses while raising SEVEN children. How could I not adore her for that, right?
I worked as a lecturer for 4 years, and in the one-year-plus time that I was a working mother, honestly I was a miserable working mother. I think I didn't function well as a working mother. It made me unhappy leaving my child everyday at that age. After I gave birth to my second baby, Qomar, I left my job to be a housewife because I knew that would restore my happiness somehow. A year after, my son was diagnosed with autism. Indeed Allah is the best planner. I knew I had made the right decision because I trusted my instinct that my children really needed me. I don't regret a single moment sacrificing my job. I was happy that I could give my full attention to my children, especially knowing that Juhd needed special care.
I think we all grow up observing how our parents(our mom especially) bring us up and it shapes our characters tremendously. It's exactly the same for children who grew up with working moms, there is no doubt they adore their working mom the same because they know and witnessed how hard their mom worked to give the best for her children and still spent time with her kids to keep them happy. I think any child who grew up with a working mom would want the same for their children. Every mom only wants happiness for their children and all decisions are made to suit THEIR family and what works for THEM. I think a lot of times people fail to see that everyone lives under different circumstances and have different family dynamics. Naturally as mothers, we make decisions that are best for US and OUR family. What we feel is best for our family, isn't necessarily the best and works for other families. Some moms function better when they are working a 9-5 job, some moms are at their best working from home, and some moms are genuinely happy just being with their kids fulltime. At the end of the day, we all want our kids to grow up with love and give them the best version of ourselves, and every mom does that in DIFFERENT WAYS.
Thats why I feel like this neverending working mom vs. housewife/WAHM thing is ridiculous. Why are people still trying to compare which one is best. Why can't we just celebrate the fact that WOMEN ALL OVER THE WORLD KICKASS AND ARE AWESOME no matter what we do because we literally can DO IT All. Motherhood alone is hard enough, why are people making it even harder with all the negative judgement. Women should always empower other women, not tear each other apart. Let's be kind to each other. We're all struggling but we're also winning this thing called motherhood as long as we don't give up.
If you're a mom and affected by what other people say, remember that you're exactly where you need to be and you're doing a great job! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!!